Before You Go
by SnowTigerFairytale
Summary: "Do you regret it?" Gendry shook his head and Arya leaned down to kiss him, gently before pulling away, letting her nose rub against his for a moment. "Tell Davos, he will understand" "Before you go, let me have you one last time." Gendry asked and Arya noticed the tears now, the ones he couldn't wipe away because her hands were on him. "It won't be the last time. You hear me?"
1. Before You Go

The sight of him hurt more than anything. The memory of his face when she had rejected him, their goodbye that she knew would be their last. Sometimes she could imagine the feeling of his lips against hers. In that moment she raised a hand to her lips, her calloused fingertips feeling the chapped broken skin. How could she continue with her life only knowing war?

He would argue that it wasn't all she known, she had a family, those who loved her and whom she loved back. Love was a weakness, she concluded in a shuddering breath. How could someone be so willing to give up their life for another? She moved to take a glimpse of her sister. Sansa, beautiful with auburn hair that seemed to have a life force of its own. She thought about how delightful it would have been to kill anyone who had caused her pain, bury her sword through their chest or slit their throats with her dagger. She then turned to Bran, he seemed lighter lately. After the Night King was defeated, he had shared a few words with her, letting her know in his own way that he was still there. Her brother who once made her jealous that he could train to be a Lord and she couldn't. She knew if anyone tried to risk his life she would murder them for it. No one could convince her that they weren't her pack.

She walked over to walk down into the depths of the Dragon pit, her feet quiet as they hit the sand and dirt beneath her. Her hand reached out a touched the stone wall before thinking about her brother Jon.

He had done it. He sacrificed his love for his duty to his people. Jon deserved to be King, not locked up awaiting trial. Sansa and Arya had talked at lengths about it and Bran tried to tell them not to worry, that everything would work out. Her heart beating in her chest betrayed her calm demeanor as the flashes of war bombarded her mind.

The smell came back to her. The smell of death, of charred skin and rich smell of blood. She doubled over as she retched onto the ground.

"Are you okay?" His words rang in her head for a moment as she moved to wipe her mouth with the sleeve of her clothes. She looked at him with blank eyes, if anyone could get under her skin it would be him.

"I'm alright, still reeling from the war some days." Arya's voice was cool, something that should have been emotional just wasn't.

"It's definitely not as grand as the songs." Gendry replied and Arya shrugged, he was right. He shifted, looking uncomfortable in his grand clothes. "We are entering a world of peace soon."

"I suppose so. Those who can find peace that is." Arya pointed out and she noticed the tense muscles in his jaw. "There are some of us who are too far gone. Monsters who can't hide behind the veil of war anymore."

"You are not a monster, Arya"

She looked at him and noticed then the softness in his eyes, the worry he wanted to share with her. Her heart began to beat faster, wanting to enjoy that look for a moment longer.

The moment was over and Arya blinked before looking away.

"You still see me as a girl," Arya mumbled before moving to leave Gendry and go back up to the open air. Gendry's hand reached for her, wrapping around her forearm gently before leaning close to her.

"I see you as Arya Stark. Just promise me you will say goodbye to me before I leave for Storms Ends?" The question caught her off guard and she let out a shaky breath, she leaned closer to him. The warmth of his breath hitting her face. She raised her hand to touch his cheek, the sensation of his skin under her hand, gave her the piece of mind that they were alive.

Arya pulled him closer to kiss his chin lightly before pulling away.

"I promise to say goodbye."

Then she was moving away from him, her heart aching in her chest as she went.

* * *

She stood on the docks, her hands clasped behind her back. Gendry was moving on the deck, Davos talking to him in low voices when finally Gendry looked up from the equipment he was moving to meet her eyes.

Arya fought back a smile and the sensation that filled her chest. She tried not to think anything about it.

"How did you find me?" Gendry asked as he walked up to her.

"I saw you when I said goodbye to Jon." Arya turned to look out towards the water.

"Are you leaving today as well?" Gendry asked and Arya shook her head. "Another day then?"

"Another day. I'll be sailing, I am assuming you'll be taking the King's road?" Arya asked and she glanced at him to see the nod confirming her words. He took a step closer to her, facing the water as well before she felt his hand touch hers that she had dropped to her sides.

"Why is this so hard?" Gendry voice sounded and Arya bit her tongue, her heart aching in her chest. "I never wanted this, at least not without you." Arya let his fingers intertwined with hers before she moved to look at him. She felt the burning of a couple tears trying to well up, but she willed them away.

"Would it be selfish to ask you to meet me tonight?"

Silence fell between them and Arya worried for a moment he would just walk away. It was selfish, she shouldn't continue this dance with him. They were friends for so long, even after separating she had thought about him often. He was a part of her pack whether she wanted him there or not. Gendry reached up to touch a piece of her hair, Arya closed her eyes instinctively waiting for a familiar sensation.

That never came which caused her to open her eyes again and stare at him, he had the saddest smile as he tried to search her face for anything. He wanted to see the love, the care she had for him. Arya's heart lurched in her chest, she wishes he could see her heart, feel her heart as it beats for him.

"It is selfish, but I will come find you. I'm just as selfish as you" Gendry murmured, and Arya swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before she nodded. She went to move away, but there was a slight tug on her hand that made her fall back against him, his lips seeking hers. She gasped lightly into the kiss before relaxing. Her free hand bracing her against his chest.

When they pulled away, their cheeks with flushed red and their breathing erratic. She gave a curt nod before finally walking away, leaving Gendry behind on the dock. Davos gave her a strange look as she passed him, but she refused to acknowledge the exchange, not with someone she barely knew.

She headed towards the ruins of the Red Keep, her heart still beating fast as her feet took her to a place she could be alone, even just for a moment. There were talks of rebuilding the castle and she had been offered a place on the small council but she declined. Bran had just smiled at her knowingly when she had and it bothered her for a moment before she realized that it was Bran. Her brother who wouldn't wish anything upon her that she didn't want. He was also very understanding her wish to sail West. When she told Bran, she didn't think she would return Bran had just shook his head and stated, "but who else would return the maps here?".

Arya pressed her back against the stone, her hands shaking slightly as she tried to calm her breathing. Every so often she would experience fits, she called them, which consumed her mind and body. Sam the Maester assured her it normal for what she went through but she didn't want it to be normal. Arya wanted to be her own version of normal, the one who would slit someone's throat without thinking. Now the feel of her weapons was a heavy burden most mornings.

Her hand fell down to rest on the hilt of the dagger, fighting the urge to throw it across the room. Arya let out a sigh before removing Needle, letting it rest on the ground before she moved to sit down, letting her eyes drift close.

* * *

He was on the way out of his tent when he ran into her. Arya refused to meet his eyes when she hurried past him into the tent.

"I was about to find you. Davos says that I'm due to leave tomorrow" Gendry's voice sounded and silence lingered between them before he reached for her arm, "what's wrong?"

Arya looked at him and Gendry was taken back by the tears clouding her eyes and watched as one fell to her cheek. He moved closer to hold her face between his hands, his thumb reaching to rub the tear away.

Arya reached to hold his hands, tugging them tight against her face.

"I do not want to cry. Just let us be together tonight" Arya murmured, and she closed her eyes before she tilted her head to kiss his palm.

Gendry stepped closer, kissing her forehead gently. The kiss lingered as she moved her arms to wrap around his waist.

It was just them for several long moments before Gendry began to undress her, his hands first undoing the braid in her hair. His fingers massaging her scalp light, shaking the hair loose. Then his hands were on her belt, Arya let out a sigh when the weight of her weapons fell away from her.

The weight was replaced with his hands, she began to work on his own clothes feeling the buckles and needing to get them off. Arya felt her clothes begin to fall and she pulled away for a moment, looking at him. Her Gendry, how did she say no to him?

Except it wasn't a question, she had said no to him and he wasn't hers. Not anymore, except tonight, perhaps.

He laid her down on the bed in his tent and covered her body, his kisses now consuming her thoughts as she began to breathe in his scent. The memory of their life together, coming to her in waves as she felt his hands roam and explore her body slowly.

She let out a moan when they finally joined, Gendry's body pressed against hers as she arched her back, letting one of his hands pressed against her lower back. He moaned into their kisses, pulling her tightly against him.

"Don't stop" Arya murmured, her feet digging into the bed under them, her eyes closing to embrace the sensations as he sat up a little, allowing cool air to wash over her. His hands gripping her legs, then her hips. She moved her hips to his rhythm, meeting him thrust for thrust. She heard him mumbling her name. What a glorious sound, she leaned forward to kiss his chest as a response.

His thrusts slowed down and Arya looked at him. Watching him as he kissed and nipped at the skin on her throat. His hand on her hip moved to their joining and Arya moaned out when he rubbed at her. He kept the pressure firmly against her until he felt her thighs shaking against his sides. He looked at her with a smile before thrusting deeper into her.

Arya let out a cry, her nails digging into whatever flesh she could find and she pulled him to her with her legs. She recognized his own cries of pleasure and let him bury himself deep inside her.

Moments passed in silence, Arya sensing that Gendry wanted to say something to her, but failing to come up with the words. He slipped from her, but kept his arm around her middle as he laid down beside her.

"I need to wait to build my ships" Arya stated and Gendry nodded, his face pressed against her arm.

"Davos is being named Master of Ships. I'm leaving without him tomorrow" Gendry mumbled and Arya looked at him.

"You'll be okay?" It was only half a question but Gendry nodded again.

"I'm used to being alone. Doesn't make no difference to me" Arya stiffened beside him. "He taught me a little about reading. I'll have a Maester to help me even more. Soon I'll be writing my own messages for the ravens."

"Would it be okay if I visited you at Storm's End? I figured I would travel and see Dorne once before I leave." Arya asked and Gendry stayed quiet but nodded his head, "You understand why I can't stay?"

"I know that you won't stay. It's not a matter of if you can or not." Gendry went quiet after that. Arya almost thought he had fallen asleep before he moved and ran his hands across her stomach to settle more comfortably.

"You're not alone" Arya whispered and she wanted to say more, but she couldn't bring herself to.

"Not right now. Not tonight. But tomorrow I'll be surrounded by people with claimed loyalty to me and I'll be utterly alone"

Her heart ached for him, remembering how she used to feel so misplaced as a lady. She always wanted what her brothers had, freedom to choose her own path. Gendry had that now and he wanted something else.

"We have tonight" Arya whispered and after the words settled between them, she felt his kisses return to her skin.

* * *

"You plan on coming back within the year?" Gendry asked quietly and Arya looked up at him as she strapped her belt on.

"I don't know, I don't know what is out there." Arya shrugged and she looked out the window down to the courtyard of Storm's End. "Thank you again for helping with the ship."

"That was all Davos." Gendry moved to sit on the bed. "What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?" Arya asked, glancing back at him for a moment before looking back out to the courtyard, watching the bustle of people.

"Davos is going to want me to marry" Gendry pointed out and Arya stilled in her movements. She thought back to her first night in Storm's End.

_"Would you marry me if I didn't ask anything else from you?" He whispered against her skin. Arya turned towards him and grasped his face, explaining to him once more that she couldn't be a lady. "My family then.. just marry me"_

_It was plea and Arya's heart broke before Gendry was wiping those tears away._

_"I love you, I can't imagine marrying anyone else. I won't even ask you to stay. I'll find a way to build your ship." Gendry began to babble until he pulled away from her with a frown, "we don't even have to tell anyone"_

_"I love you too." Arya whispered, her hands gripping him as if he was her lifeline. Gendry's eyes widened and he shook his head._

_"You don't have to say that because I do."_

_"I'm not." Arya assured and Gendry buried his face against her chest. Arya's hands moved to rub his scalp. "Let's do it"_

_Gendry glanced up for a moment before shaking his head and hiding his face again._

_"Don't have another round in me"_

_"I know that's a lie, but that's not what I meant stupid. Let's get married" Arya then pushed him off of her and began reaching for her clothes. "The Godswood is a nice walk from here, let's go"_

_They found themselves there an hour later, their hands grasped together as they said the words. No witnesses except the old gods and the new if they were watching._

_Gendry placed his cloak around her shoulder before kissing her like his life depended on it._

_They barely made it back to Storm's end before they took each other in the stables. _

"You can't marry" Arya mumbled and Gendry let out a heavy sigh. "Tell him."

"You did not want anyone to know." Gendry pointed out and Arya turned to him and grasped his face.

"Do you regret it?" Gendry shook his head and Arya leaned down to kiss him, gently before pulling away, letting her nose rub against his for a moment. "Tell Davos, he will understand"

"Before you go, let me have you one last time." Gendry asked and Arya noticed the tears now, the ones he couldn't wipe away because her hands were on him.

"It won't be the last time. You hear me?" Arya hissed and Gendry closed his eyes. "I'll be back."

"I know" Gendry murmured, and Arya felt her belt fall to the ground, she climbs on his lap and settled down for a moment before moving her hands to grasp the hem of his tunic. "Thank you"

"I wouldn't be able to leave without having you regardless, my lord," Arya kissed one of the tears on his cheeks and gave him a sad smile.

"Don't call me that, my lady," Arya pushed at his shoulders, letting him fall back against the bed. His hands immediately going to her.

They took their time before finally getting dressed in silence. Their goodbyes being rushed, but when Arya moved to leave the room Gendry pulled her in for a bruising kiss, his desperation reading clear to her before they separated.

Gendry watched the ship set sail, his heart aching but his hand gripped the wooden toy in his hand. It was a direwolf she had Davos make for him. Gendry knew they would survive this. They had been separated before.


	2. Coming Home

_5 years later _

Arya heard the sailors screaming commands as they tried to sail into port. Her hair was longer, but she still managed to pull it back as she tried to walk across the deck.

"Lady Stark, you must get below deck. This storm is about to break the ship apart." Her second in command informed and Arya looked around, the rain hit her skin and washed over her.

It would be refreshing if the waves had not picked up and the skies being green. She held the helm and she let out a heavy breath.

"How far out are we?" Arya asked and the man looked out towards where the shore should be, he held up his scope for a moment before turning back to his captain.

"We are in Shipbreaker Bay. No doubt about that."

Arya looked out to the water and frowned for a moment at the violent waters.

"We'll continue, have everyone start to prepare for docking as soon as we see shore." Arya commanded and held the helm firmly, her brown hair now wet against her skin and her clothes heavier than they were before they had sailed into the storm.

It was another hour before they saw shore, and Arya could feel the chill set in as she saw the castle she had spent so many years away from. The castle that held her husband in the eyes of the gods. Her stomach tossed at the idea of the possibility that he had remarried, or fell in love with someone else, or even got himself killed in a war. Even in times of peace there could be wars and he was a Baratheon after all.

She shook her head at the thought as the ship began to dock. The waters were tamer, but the storm was relentless. She reached up to undo her hair as the weight of it began to tug at her scalp. She walked down to the deck and began to pay her sailors individually. Their smiles grateful as they placed the purse of coins into their shirts. Arya's stomach clenched as she stood, ready to leave the ship as she knew they would be able to take care of her belongings once the storm passed.

She took a deep breath to steady herself as she took a step forward off the ship.

* * *

Gendry was in the Godswood that Stormy night. He often came here to think about her, pray that wherever she was that she was safe. Davos had told him multiple times that no one had heard from her except some stories about a ship with a Direwolf sails and mast head.

Stories could just be that, stories. He touched the tree, despite the storm he could feel the warmth, as if blood was pumping through the wood.

His eyes closed and there she was, her grey eyes wide and doe-like. Only when she looked at him, her lips parting in a whisper as she moved closer to him. The image was waning though. When she first left it was so vivid, he could remember her voice and their nights together but now even her image was blurry.

He sighed, pulling his hand back and opening his eyes. It was time to go back to his chambers, get into clean dry clothes. When he turned he stumbled backwards.

There she was, but it couldn't be. Her dark hair longer and weighted down from the rain. She wore clothes very similar to her style, but it was of a light weight, helping to keep her cooler in the southern regions.

Refusing to believe it was true, he closed his eyes again, knowing when they would open the vision would be gone. He would be alone again, but when his eyes opened again she was still there. Now a smile creeping on her face as she took a step forward.

"Arya?" He murmured so softly he knew she wouldn't hear it over the rain but she stepped forward anyways.

"My lord-" She started, but Gendry's hands were on her, his thumb trailing across her chin and jaw.

"Don't call me that" he growled for a moment before pulling her in for a bruising kiss. Arya moaned out at the sensation, letting him know that the time spent apart changed nothing for their attraction.

Gendry pulled away for a breath and pressed his head against her neck.

"Gendry, I am home now" Arya whispered and Gendry pulled her close, never wanting to let her go again.

It was then that Arya began to lead him away from the Godswood and into the warm castle. He still felt like she could just disappear, with every corner they passed. His heart quickening with each step.

Arya pulled them into his chambers, how she remembered them after so many years he had no clue.

"We should get dry and warm." Arya mumbled and Gendry stood there for a moment before he realized he would need to strip to make that possible. His cheeks reddened at the thought. She was his wife by the old gods, but it had been five years. "Don't be shy."

"It's been five years." Gendry pointed out and Arya turned away from him to begin undoing the buckles on her own clothing. He pulled at his own and let out a heavy sigh at the thought that she might change her mind about him. How could she remain in love with him when she had seen the world?

"We may be different, but we are still the same." Arya murmured, and Gendry saw her clothing drop, revealing her pale skin, some of it has been sun kissed but not much. Her hands began to settle at the hem of her tunic and she paused for a moment, watching his expression. She then pulled the fabric up over her head, revealing all of herself to him.

He in turn finally pulled his own tunic over and Arya let out a sharp gasp as her hands reached to touch the scars that littered Gendry's chest. Gendry stepped back in surprise for a moment before letting her hands slide over his skin.

"An uprising, we were called to war. Probably the second year you were gone." Gendry murmured, and Arya's hands were warm on his skin. She stared at the scars, tracing them before she looked up, realizing the closeness between them. Gendry blinked his eyes, they closed for a moment longer taking in the sensation of her skin against his.

Arya swallowed nervously, watching him slowly. His hand trembled against her side for a moment.

"I'm worried." Gendry admitted causing Arya to pull back in confusion.

"Worried about what?"

"That in the morning this will be a cruel dream, or that you will have gone away again." Gendry took a step back and walked to sit down on the bed he had grown used to sleeping alone in.

"I have came back finally and you still think I will just leave." Arya reached for his tunic and slipped it over her head, the hem almost grazing her knees.

"You did before."

Those words hit her hard as if someone had struck her unexpectedly. A feeling she was not used to anymore. He wouldn't meet her eyes now, deciding to pick at the fur that covered the bed. She let out a shaky breath and the cold settled on her exposed skin.

"I had to" Arya started and she turned to one of the lone tables in the room, her hand grasping the wood for some stability, "You wanted things from me that I could not give you then."

"I wanted nothing from you other than what we had." Gendry's voice raised slightly alerting her to his anger.

"What would have happened if I fell with child? Back then I was fragile and I was having those issues, I could dream of moments that felt so real. Me not being able to handle it, leaving you with a child, or worse hurting them or you. I needed time to heal!" Arya snapped and her knuckles pounded the wood as she could feel her eyes begin to itch, "Yes, you were content at first with us waiting for the boats to be built, you were content with me sharing your chambers, you were content until you wanted more. Our marriage you hoped would keep me here, allow us to have children and rule as Lord and Lady. I wanted to be content with staying, but I couldn't."

"I-"

"I needed to see the world when I was not running from something."

"Seemed like you ran from me" Gendry's voice was low and it made Arya turn, she saw his fingers, rub at his eyes and look down to his feet. She walked slowly over to him. "You never wanted any of this.."

"No, Gendry. I was running so I could come back to something. When I arrived back from Braavos, I did not even bother going to Winterfell, I felt like there was nothing there for me. Every day out at sea I knew I would come back here, Storm's End." Arya positioned herself over his lap, knees digging into the bed. "I wanted all of it, I just knew I needed to find myself again. Someone you never met, the Arya before the Arry, the little girl who only wanted to learn to dance and catch cats."

"Arya"

The name came out as a whisper, barely audible except between them. Her hands were at his shoulders to balance herself as his arms wrapped around her waist. They finally met in a kiss that was promising of more. Arya shifted lower on her knees and a groan erupted between them as their cores touched briefly. Gendry released his arms to pull the fabric over her head and toss it aside. His hands settled on her hips as he tried to lean back to admire her body.

"I want my husband" Arya moaned out, Gendry helped to shift her and himself so when she settled back, she could feel the burning pressure of him entering her. She cried out for a moment in relief as if an itch was finally being scratched. There was resistance until he helped her hips rise up and then the next second he was fully sheathed inside of her.

"Fuck.." His words groaned out and Arya's nails were digging into the muscles of his chest. His hands only began to move when her hips started to move on their own. His fingers sliding across her skin and caressing the rosy nipples he had dreamt of so often, then up to rub a thumb across her bottom lip as she cried out.

"Gendry.." She begged out as her hips rocked back and forth, wanting nothing more than to take them to the edge, Gendry breathed through the motions, wanting to last longer than this. One of his hands going to meet their joining and she tried to shift away from him. He held her firmly in place to rub her nub properly, letting her orgasm crash through her. Arya's body falling down to rest against his chest.

"You didn't-" Arya finally managed once her breathing slowed down.

"Cause I am not done yet" Gendry cut her off, supporting her back when he flipped them over, Arya moaned out as he stayed tucked inside her. "We are not done talking either." Gendry mumbled and Arya nodded.

He thrusted gently, recognizing she was still sensitive. Gendry kept his eyes on her, watching her as she kept her eyes half closed and legs relaxed to stay open as she gripped either him or the furs under him. His sweat dripping from him to her body and the bed.

She gasped out as she felt another release building, her thighs quivering and she pulled him in for a bruising kiss. It was urging him to keep going, but when he tried to spill his seed elsewhere her legs wrapped around him tightly. Her cries echoing in the room joining his own curses and pushing his forehead against hers.

"I apologize.. You kind of kept me in" Gendry whispered when they began to cool down.

"I know. And I'm not apologizing. I hope it quickens." Arya mumbles, her legs trying to shift her body upwards towards the pillows.

"Arya?"

"I told you I came home, I'm married to you. I would want a child one of these days." Gendry looked at her for a moment before his own eyes began to tear up. He tucked his head against her body. Arya ran her fingertips across his back, allowing him a moment to reflect on her words.

"Did you find her? The little girl" Gendry's voice let out a warm breath against her skin and Arya had to bite her lip to stop the shiver as it cooled the sweat covering her body with a sheen.

"I did. I also learned something." Arya looked towards the window, the shutters closed, but she could faintly hear the rain as the storm raged on. "I learned that love isn't weakness. I traveled the world where people taught me that loving someone isn't weakness. My family has sacrificed a lot for love, but none of it was in vain. My brother has found love time and time again just to have it shattered in front of him. I decide who I love and who I would be willing to die for. I choose you. I choose my siblings. I choose my pack."

Silence lingered between them for a moment before Gendry pulled back to look at the woman in front of him.

"Does that make me a wolf?" Gendry asked with a smirk and Arya rolled her eyes before feeling the tickle of his fingertips at her side.

"No. You'll always be my bull" Arya breathed out before Gendry was on top of her again. Giggles sounding out through the room.


End file.
